the noise is deafening the sounds do not make sense to me
it's everywhere I'm overwhelmed within its density
attempt to take in my immediate surroundings
it's confounding heart is pounding and then it stops

and then it starts

I'm riding through the desert weaving through a maze of cactus
bleeding from a million needle holes i think I'm needing practice
have to find some shade and water stop and drop my kickstand
this whole place is an oasis all except the quicksand

can't get my footing - I'm drowning

and now I'm sinking thinking this will be my bitter end
barely enough time to get my mind to start considering
where I've been and what I've done and who i really truly am
how the hell can anybody do that I don't understand
this is too confusing anybody bring the manual
feels like counting sand with giant hands and every granule
slips between my fingers and i have to pick it up again
every grain a metaphor for pain and human suffering

thought i had my bearings - but I'm lost
floating - nothing out there - I can see forever
adrift in space and in time
and then again i do believe that it's a new beginning

and now I'm walking in the woods

looking over my shoulder coyotes on all sides
must've smelled the fear i hope to god i make it out alive
i think i see the light between the trees but then i look again
seems as though i made a circle back to where I've already been

feels like I'm spinning

come into a clearing takes a minute to adjust my vision
takes a couple more to catch my breath and make my next decision
need protection don't know which direction i might find it
rewind it and even then I'll probably have a million questions
best friends can guess them and shout suggestions
through my casket or the plastic urn that looks like metal
or the burlap sack that's thrown where grass gets mown and flower petals
strewn and then a tree grown in that spot the plot where I am settled
like dust to dust or ashes to ashes
to the brink of where my consciousness attaches
to matter but it's scattered to infinity
divinity in microorganisms and earthworms

you say nothingness exists but have you ever felt this?